I hate that God created me so...unstable, so vulnerable to the people around me; so dependent on them. I hate the devil who subverts my humane desires and wants, infesting them wantonly.
Lord, why do you allow that evil devil; that prince of the power of the air to touch me, defile me, laughing as he beguiled me. Why do you allow him to wreak havoc , bringing me no semblance of mental peace; subverting my new acquaintances and friends and exposing them to wicked and ungodly desires?
The holy and those bathed in light turn away from you. The parasites the devil had planted in my mind and in the core of my very soul; they eat away at me, killing me and driving me crazy.
Lord, if art thou worthy - why condone these foolish yet weakening acts of the foolish angel you created? Has thou forsaken me?
Hosea 2 rings in my head, chiming it's warnings out to me.
ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?
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You can write a Dan Brown book (:
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