Frustrated.

I don't know why, all of a sudden I feel so damnably alone. I set messing around with cards for about an hour. I threw and I threw them, I feel sorry for those that got really bent.

I keep thinking that my close friends are all going to book in and then...it sets in. That sudden feeling like everyone's away and you're left behind. It drove a hole inside me. So I threw more and I threw and I threw, trying to help myself.

For such a silent person, it really sucks to know that when you feel alone it hurts I don't know, usually I'd be numb to this back in secondary school and jc1 but now, it just doesn't work with me. I admit needing my close friends so much I would kill myself literally if one of them just...I don't know. Feeling very restless and worried now. I wish I could do something, you know?

To bring them back. I know, I'm just possessive and selfish.

And those who really matter, they make me worry the most too.

I miss Saturday, I really do. I spent time creating real memories and talking - instead of keeping quiet and letting blank pages of life line up on top of me. I wish those moments could last forever. I wish God could give me a true blue break.