Thoughts for the day.

I'm done with BMT at Tekong already, after 5 1/2 days. I thought a lot about things though - I guess introspection and reflection really are my main hobbies, fortunately or unfortunately :) I really did like the moments when there was silence around me - especially at night when the only sounds I heard were the fans blowing from the ceiling. As I went through each day, I could take my mind away from my own situation and I learnt to observe others.

My heart really went out to the recruits who went through the normal BMT. I believe the worst culture shock would've gone to the people who've never ever faced regimentation, harsh treatment and most importantly - who simply can't take the pressure of their new lives. I saw it on all of their faces as I walked past some of them after meals: Fear, frustration, dejection - one in note as if he was damned.

Of course there are the usual gung-ho people, people who take army in a neutral manner and those who simply don't care which way they end up.

It's a pity I don't have the privacy to state my truthful thoughts on BMT and tekong life itself - so I can't and won't.

Anyway, next week, I start work as a administrative assistant somewhere in Singapore. Well, perhaps my duties would distract me from my thoughts. I keep wondering what'd happen on Monday - if I would screw up or embarrass myself or worse still, get myself confined in camp. I wonder who'll be the person to teach me and if he's nice. I wonder if I'll be able to absorb myself in work so things could feel slightly less messy and cacophonous in my mind. I keep thinking about the already few friends I have - if those whom I treasure most could actually end up steering further and further away from me - not just due to my personality - but moreso the erasing effects of time. I wonder if next time after NS I would see some person who I've not seen in 2-3 years and then we'd just say a simple hi and walk away....yet again.

Well, my life has been made up of many transient friendships here and there - so perhaps I shouldn't be too surprised at how things might turn out in the end.